By Chris Biancaniello
“I cannot forget from where it is that I come from. I cannot forget the people who love me and I can be myself here in this small town and people let me be just what I want to be.” John Mellancamp
Paul GrafPaul Graf has been the principal of Smithtown Elementary for almost 25 years, and now at the age of 60 he has decided to retire. He has been an almost iconic fixture to the students of Smithtown Elementary during their six years of schooling at the school. He plays songs on his guitar for birthdays and from time to time can even be spotted gliding down the halls on his scooter.
Mr. Graf is the quintessential elementary school principal, he’s eccentric and not afraid to do things that would be out of most people’s comfort zone. What else can you say about a man that dresses up as the Cat in the Hat every year, face paint and all? Beloved by his students and faculty, Mr. Graf’s time at Smithtown Elementary will not soon be forgotten.
He sat with Smithtown Matters to answer a few questions about the job, retirement, and what the future holds.
SM: Does it feel weird to be interviewed by a former student?
PG: Not at all, it’s a pleasure to see you again.
SM: Tell me a little bit about how you got to this point.
PG: I began my career as a BOCES teacher at what was at the time called “learning adjustment”. It was a failed experiment we called “Seton Hall”, where they put together all the kids from BOCES 2. At the time any child ages 5-21 with disabilities was put into this one building. It was insane. So I got out of there in one year and moved to the fourth grade. I taught fourth grade at Comsewogue Schools in Port Jeff Station for three years.
From there I moved towards teaching special education students. I was a special ed. teacher and taught students who had learning disabilities in the late 70’s and early 80’s. I spent my summers teaching kids who were skilled in theatre. I’ve been employed in the district here since 1987. I was also at Comsewogue as an assistant principal in 84-85 and I went from there to my first principal’s job at Terryville Elementary School. I took that job knowing the school was going to close, it was just a matter of gaining one year’s experience. I sent out one magical application in the spring of 1987 and Smithtown said “yes”, and here we sit!
SM: So 25 years?
PG: Just about.
SM: What are your plans going to be after retirement?
PG: I need a little time to rest reflect and then see what the universe has in store for me. I truly believe there is God and I think God is guiding me. I leave myself open to that kind of guidance.
SM: What are you going to miss most?
PG: The children. You know, in the school I can smile at any child and they smile back at me. In the community people are so fearful of strangers looking at their kids (laughs) that I have to be careful. But I will miss smiling at children.
SM: What are you going to miss the least?
PG: Discipline- discipline on school busses. It takes a lot of work to figure out what happened in there.
SM: What ultimately led to your decision to retire?
PG: I’m going to be 60 this summer and 38 years is plenty. And how many years do you get in life you know? I hope I get a good 20 years to go explore the world and I want to embrace that.
SM: Any particular travel plans?
PG: Oh yeah. I plan to be in Africa by next February or March, probably in the south like Tanzania.
SM: What are you expecting your last day to be like here?
PG: No different than any other day. I’ll take care of the kids, makes sure they have all the paperwork they need to be on their busses. Make sure they get home safe. My last day with children I expect it to be no different than any other day. But, I have a lot of cleaning up to do. I’m still working! I have to finish a number of things. I have to tie up school for Mrs. Lavery.
SM: That’s who’s coming in next?
PG: Yes, Janine Lavery from Nesconset, a really fine lady, and a great sense of humor very well rounded in literacy and elementary education. Very well grounded person.
SM: What is your favorite memory?
PG: Oh god. There’s no one memory. There is something that struck me. I remember when I first got here, and it was in December or January, they had a school student concert and Gale Hershkowitz was the music teacher. She had the children sing to me “Consider Yourself” from Oliver. When I see that vision in my head it’s in Kodachrome. It’s not a vision that’s in sepia. It’s in Kodacolor. The reds and yellows were highlighted in ways that were just unreal. I remember being the room; I remember it being wintertime. I remember girls with bows in their hair like plaid bows and boys in their white shirts and everybody singing that song. Then the other one is the blue-skied days. Blue skies on the days of the ragamuffin parade, you know think about it, hundreds of parents come to see their kids and I’ll never forget just juggling pumpkins against the blue sky.
SM: What made you stick with being principal of Smithtown Elementary?
PG: My ego told me to go be the assistant superintendant or superintendant, but my brain made me ask why. What could be more powerful than having an impact on teaching and learning in an institution? For those reasons I made the choices to stay as an elementary school principal and make deep change in this wonderful suburban country school.
SM: If you could give one piece of advice to Mrs. Lavery what would it be?
PG: Smile at children. A Chinese paper cutter used to come to the school. He was a cultural arts guy. Here’s what he told me, he once sat me down and he said, “You need to be more happy. When children look at you, you’re the face of god. You need to smile at children.” It was great advice. You know, who knows what these kids have been up against that morning. Some kids have great parents, they get their stuff together and they’re on their way. Other kids might have had a rough ride. Parents are so busy between their responsibilities so that they can make a life for their child, given all those pressures kids are under a lot of pressures so the least I can do is smile.
SM: What’s different about being a principal today, from the day you started.
PG: The level of accountability is much higher. Tests are starting in grade three now. State tests and now the level of accountability; three times a year we are expecting a lot out of children and teachers.
SM: Has that made things tougher on you?
PG: I wouldn’t say tougher. It has made things tougher on teachers. We have to manage a lot of testing now. That is one thing we are very conscious of, the Testing calendar, and managing all the aspects of the testing calendar.
SM: What about from an administrative perspective. Has it been different working with all the different administrations?
PG: I’ve always worked hard to have a good relationship with my bosses because you know they’re just trying to do their jobs too. I’ve always worked to be cooperative and instructive and helped them know how they can serve the best interest in their schools. And that’s the best way to go about it. Your success is the boss’s success; the boss’s success is your success.
SM: What’s different about the kids over the years?
PG: The thing I’m most concerned about is self-preservation. I think that our students now are highly insulated. I think back to myself at the age of eight. I lived in Brooklyn, I would ride the train, and I would ride the subway! At the age of eight I would ride the subway with a friend who was nine to go to John Jay High School to go swimming in the summer. I had a lot of freedom and the children, and again they’re wonderful kids but I think they’re highly insulated. There are reasons for that of course. But, I think that kids have to explore the natural world and I think that children need to have a stronger sense of self-preservation. I mean I climbed trees; I climbed fences, and now kids trip on the sidewalk these days (laughs).
SM: What are you going to do with the famous scooter that you ride around the halls?
PG: (laughs) I think I have to give the scooter to Mrs. Lavery. Maybe she won’t ride it with her high heels on. Principal gets the scooter. One last thing, I have a quote I want to share with you. One of the songs I sing is called “Small Town” by John Mellancamp. There is a great line in it, “I cannot forget from where it is that I come from. I cannot forget the people who love me and I can be myself here in this small town and people let me be just what I want to be.”
SM: Why is this particular quote relevant to you?
PG: This is a small town and one of the things we do really well here at this school is give access to parents to enter into the lives of their children, and I think that’s really important. The reason we would have events over the years was so that parents could better understand the work of their children. I’m going to miss this like crazy. I come in I drive one hundred miles per hour to get here every day. But, at the same time its time to move on.
SM: Are you going to visit?
PG: We’ll see. It’s going be hard to stay away.
Mr. Graf’s final day with the students will be this Thursday, June 21st. His replacement, Mrs. Lavery will certainly have some big shoes to fill.