News of Long Ago - "Evelyn Nesbit Becomes Mrs. Harry K. Thaw, The Biggest Mistake Of Evelyn Nesbit's Life"

News of Long Ago by Bradley Harris, Smithtown Historian

(I have been writing about Evelyn Nesbit and her involvement  with Stanford White and Harry Thaw.  Last week’s article dealt with the “two worst mistakes” that Evelyn made in her life – the fateful decision Evelyn made in the spring of 1903 to travel to Europe with Harry Thaw, and her decision in the spring of 1904 to let Harry Thaw back into her life following his brutal assault and rape of her while on that trip to Europe.  Evelyn made a third mistake when she agreed to marry Harry Thaw.)  

“Evelyn Nesbit becomes Mrs. Harry K. Thaw, the biggest mistake of Evelyn Nesbit’s life….”

Once Evelyn Nesbit agreed to a reconciliation with Harry Thaw, her fate was sealed since Harry was determined to get Evelyn to be his wife, and Harry always seemed to get what he wanted.  But Harry had a number of obstacles to overcome before that happened.   He first had to convince Evelyn to be his wife, and more importantly, Harry had to gain his mother’s consent to make Evelyn his bride.  Harry’s mother presented the biggest problem.

Mother Thaw knew about Evelyn’s affair with Stanford White because Harry had written to his mother from Paris, the day after Evelyn had confessed all to Harry.  Harry had told his mom about “the ‘pathetic events of poor Evelyn’s life which had culminated in her cruel defilement by Stanford White.’”  (Paula Uruburu, American Eve, Riverhead Books, New York, 2008, p. 240.)  So Mrs. Thaw was aware of Evelyn’s past and she “resisted Harry’s pleas to marry Evelyn.”  She felt that if Harry married Evelyn, “it would be the ruination of the family name.”  She absolutely refused to consider the marriage until Harry managed to wear down her resolve over the Thanksgiving holiday of 1904.  (Paula Uruburu, American Eve, op. cit., p. 241.) 

For that holiday, Harry travelled to the Thaw family mansion, Lyndhurst, in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania .  Once there, Harry persistently and relentlessly badgered his mother about his desire to make Evelyn Nesbit his wife.  He sobbed in church, he withdrew into a depressed funk and threatened suicide, all the while sharing with his mom his efforts to get Evelyn to give up her life as a show girl to become his wife.  He eventually wore down his mother’s opposition and she “gave Harry her reluctant approval to pursue his fallen angel.”  But Mrs. Thaw made it abundantly clear that Evelyn would have to give up her life as a showgirl and would be expected to come live in the Thaw family home in Pittsburgh.  (Paula Uruburu, American Eve, op. cit., p. 242.)  With his mother’s blessing, Harry returned to New York to actively woo the woman he loved.

Harry began a “campaign of penitent courtship; he sent gifts and the contents of an entire florist’s shop with notes indicating that he had changed and that he still wanted to marry her.”  But Harry’s lawyers had advised him to stay away from Evelyn until her eighteenth birthday, and he did so, impatiently waiting for her birthday to arrive on December 24, 1904. “The overwrought Harry waited like an excitable child for Christmas Eve,” and on the morning of December 24^th, “Harry sent all sorts of gifts to Evelyn’s hotel,” including some miniature bonsai trees.  That evening, after Evelyn’s performance at the Madison Square Garden theatre was over, Harry and some friends called for her and took her to dinner at Rector’s to celebrate her 18^th birthday.  Apparently in doing so, Harry thwarted Stanford White’s plan to help Evelyn celebrate her birthday at a Christmas Eve party in his tower apartment at Madison Square Garden and this fact led to further antagonism between the two men.  (Paula Uruburu, American Eve, op. cit., p. 242-243.)

Throughout the winter and spring of 1905, Harry pursued Evelyn, avowing his love, swearing to her that he had become a changed man, and repeatedly assuring her that his “violent behavior had been the vile product of temporary insanity and would never, ever happen again.”  (Paula Uruburu, American Eve, op. cit., p. 238.)  “Weakened by Thaw’s relentless pursuit of her, compounded by the fact that her options were severely limited, that the theater world under” Stanford White’s patronage had lost its luster, “and that Harry … professed to be madly in love with her (and only her), even though he knew ‘the Horrible Truth,’ Evelyn finally relented” and agreed to marry Harry Thaw.  (Paula Uruburu, American Eve, op. cit., p. 254.)           

“On April 5, 1905, twenty-one year old Evelyn Nesbit married Harry K. Thaw in a private ceremony at the house of Reverend Dr. McEwan” in Pittsburgh.  “The only people in attendance were Mother Thaw; Josiah Copley Thaw, one of Harry’s brothers; and Frederick Perkins, the man who could claim to be perhaps Harry’s one and only genuine friend from the days of his youth.”  Evelyn “had asked that her mother be invited.  So, against Harry’s and his mother’s wishes, Mr. and Mrs. Charles Holman,” Evelyn’s mother and her new husband, attended the wedding.  “The young bride wore black (with touches of deep brown), the bridal outfit having been handpicked by Harry himself.”  Since Evelyn and Harry intended to leave immediately on their honeymoon, “it was more sensible for her to wear the travelling outfit,” but a black wedding dress turned out to be “an unhappy omen” for the young couple.  (Paula Uruburu, American Eve, op. cit., p. 254-255.)

Following their honeymoon, Evelyn and Harry returned to Pittsburgh to live in the Thaw family mansion of “Lyndhurst.”  In the mansion, which looked more like a “Teutonic fortress” than “an English manor house,” the newly-weds occupied an entire wing, “maintaining separate bedrooms as was the custom for married couples of the time.”   Living with the Thaw family, who were devout Presbyterians, was not easy.  “Evelyn’s daily routine was always the same.  Lunch and dinner with the family in the main dining room, often minus Harry, who was inexplicably absent for both meals with increasing frequency.”  It must have been terribly difficult for Evelyn to be seated at a table constantly surrounded by the Thaw family members who “looked down their pug noses” at the former chorus girl who was now a member of their immediate family.  Mother Thaw squashed any discussion of Evelyn’s former career on stage and “demanded that” her past “should be forgotten.”  (Paula Uruburu, American Eve, p. 256-257.)

“When Harry was at home,” he was “extremely patient and tactful” in dealing with Evelyn and his own siblings “and whenever possible, he even shielded her from oblique attacks on her character from other family members.”  (Paula Uruburu, American Eve, op. cit, p. 256-257.) But when he wasn’t there, Evelyn must have been vulnerable to their sniping and keenly felt that she had been locked away in an asylum.  Her social life with the Thaws involved attending “insipid and uninspired parties, receptions, and ‘at homes,’ which generally ended by seven, with only the crumbs of crustless tasteless deviled ham sandwiches as a memory.”  After a year of socializing with the Thaws and being sequestered in the Thaw family mansion, Evelyn was “beyond the edge of boredom toward the catatonic.  Evelyn was becoming convinced that marriage to Harry Thaw had been a mistake.  “As each dulling day crusted over, the younger Mrs. Thaw (or Mrs. Harry, as she was referred to when at home) began to harden into resentment at the moldy holier-than- thou types she was forced into contact with nearly every day.”  (Paula Uruburu, American Eve, op. cit., p. 260.) 

Harry too began to change and began to revert to behavior patterns he had exhibited before they were married.  He once again became fixated on Stanford White and “began an impressive campaign” to prove to all that Stanford White was “the blackest of sinners whose evil influence upon” young women “needed to be exposed.”  Harry became convinced that his efforts in this campaign led White to hire thugs who were out to “fix him.”  He began to carry “a revolver for his own protection.”  Harry’s family became aware of this when he spent one cloudless day “taking pot shot target practice” behind the “carriage house on the property.”  Harry was now an armed menace.   What made things worse for Evelyn was that “each night, he would come into her bed where he goaded and wheedled and bullied Evelyn into repeating the details of the day she first met White, of her modeling sessions, of her nakedness and horrible discovery that the Beast had violated her sanctity and girlhood.”  Harry “issued” an edict that Evelyn “could never speak White’s name again” and that she must refer to him as the Beast.  “Harry insisted that Evelyn dress in white, preferably in ermines or starched white shirtwaists  and skirts that made her look more like the innocent schoolgirl she had once been rather than a twenty-one- year-old despoiled former mistress turned repentant wife.”  And when Mother Thaw was not around “at breakfast, lunch or dinner,” Harry “interrogated Evelyn about her past.  He began waking her up in the middle of the night, sobbing himself into dry heaves and demanding from her details he thought he had forgotten, which she was ‘loath to give.’ The subject of Evelyn’s undoing was never ‘absent from his mind,’” and Evelyn began to fear for Harry’s sanity.  (Paula Uruburu, American Eve, op. cit., pp. 261-263.)

Then “in March of 1906, much to Evelyn’s delight, Harry announced that a trip to England was in the offing. “  Harry suggested that “he, Evelyn, and his mother sail together, and proceeded to make the preparations.”  A week later, Mother Thaw announced that “she would go ahead on a different ship” giving Harry and Evelyn some needed time to be together.   June 28^th “was finally set” as the “date of departure” for their voyage to England and the young couple was looking forward to their European holiday.  (Paula Uruburu, American Eve, op. cit., p. 266.) 

Evelyn and Harry decided to spend a few days in New York City before their departure.  “As they had numerous times before,” the Thaws decided “to go to dinner and a show” on the evening of June 25^th, an “unseasonably hot day” that was cooling down into “a sultry June evening.”  Harry had suggested that they eat at Sherry’s a block from their hotel, and when Evelyn met up with him there, they were joined by Truxton Beale, a journalist, whom Harry had befriended.  Since Beale was “’not dressed’,” the trio “decided to go to another less formal restaurant,” the Café Martin.  There they were “seated in the main dining room, where they were joined at around eight o’clock by Tommy McCaleb,” an old family friend.  The diners were working their way through their main courses when Evelyn suddenly caught sight of Stanford White who had come to the same restaurant with his “nineteen-year-old son, Larry, and a friend of Larry’s, Leroy King, both of whom were in town for a visit from Harvard.” Fortunately, Harry whose back was to the entrance did not see Stanford White and his sons enter the restaurant and they were seated out of his sight on the restaurant’s terrace.  Somehow the Thaws and their guests finished their meal and departed the restaurant without confronting Stanford White and his sons.  Evelyn Nesbit felt a huge sense of relief that this had not happened, but then she asked Harry where they were going.  “Harry said he had procured tickets for the opening night of a new musical, Mamzelle Champagne.  The color drained from Evelyn’s cheeks.  She knew that this particular show was opening at the rooftop theater of Madison Square Garden,” the building that Stanford White had designed, and “she knew that, until that night, Harry had petulantly and defiantly refused to set foot in any building connected with White.”  She knew that Stanford White would be in attendance at this show sitting at the table that was “reserved for the creator of the Garden.”  (Paula Uruburu, American Eve, op.cit., p. 276-277.)   

“The foursome strolled the single block to the Garden, and Evelyn felt light-headed from the combination of heat, wine, and general nerves.  As they took the elevator to the rooftop, Evelyn asked Harry if he wanted to check his overcoat.  He said no, and smiled in the same disconcerting way he had the day they first met.”  It seemed strange that Harry wanted to keep his overcoat on the hot sultry evening, and Evelyn should have known that he was wearing it to conceal the revolver he had shoved into his belt.  When the elevator reached the rooftop theater, “the party was shown to a table about three quarters of the way back from the stage.”  There the party settled in to watch the musical, Mazelle Champagne, play out on the stage before them.  Evelyn was relieved to discover that the table reserved for Stanford White was “empty” and Stanny was nowhere in sight.  The show turned out to be a spectacular bore and “some of the patrons” who were drinking champagne took to “booing and hooting.”  Harry and his companions ordered champagne as well.  Then suddenly, Harry “left the table and was instantly hidden from Evelyn’s line of sight by one of the large, leafy plants” that were spaced throughout the theater.  When Harry came back to the table a few minutes later, Evelyn discovered that he had just gone off to say hello to James Clinch Smith who just happened to be sitting by himself at a table at the back of the theater.   Harry took “a few sips from his glass of champagne, then left again and disappeared just as quickly as before into the crowd.”  (Paula Uruburu, American Eve, op. cit., p. 278-279.)  

Evelyn remained at the table listening to “McCaleb’s critique of the uninspiring performances and music,” and “she watched Harry fade into the glare of the stage lights” as he once again disappeared into the crowd.  “A little before eleven o’clock, with the show nearly over,” Stanford White  suddenly stepped out of the elevator and made his way to his reserved table where he “took his customary seat five rows from the stage” and “began to watch what was left of the performance.”  (Paula Uruburu, American Eve, op. cit., p. 279.)  At that point, “Harry abruptly reappeared at their table” and sat down.  He “began fidgeting in his chair.”  Suddenly he stood up and “perched over the table like a huge, distraught crow,” his attention seemingly riveted on the stage.  It was at that point that Evelyn “suggested in a somewhat faint and strained voice that they leave.”  As they all got up to go, Harry “helped Evelyn with her wrap” and “the four began walking toward the elevator.”  Paula Uruburu, American Eve, op. cit., p.280.)

“It wasn’t until” Evelyn “was nearly inside the elevator” that she realized that “Harry had once again vanished” and doubled back into the theater.  He had worked his way to “within a few feet of the unsuspecting architect.”  Evelyn was frantically looking for Harry, standing on her tiptoes trying to look over the crowd around her, scanning the audience.  “Seconds later, a startlingly loud gunshot pierced the torpid night air.  The musicians faltered.  Evelyn recoiled and stared stricken in the direction of the sound.”  She knew immediately what had happened.  “Two more shots followed in searing rapid succession” and “Evelyn looked up at McCaleb” who was by her side and cried out:  “He shot him!” (Paula Uruburu, American Eve, op. cit., p. 281.)

Harry, standing over White’s body, “his own face deadly white, held the barrel of the gun over his head and let the unused shells fall with a brassy click to the floor” as he “shouted to terrified witnesses:  “I did it because he ruined my wife!  He had it coming to him.  He took advantage of the girl and then deserted her!”